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Review-Spider-Man: Far From Home

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NOTE: This review will contain both Minor and Major spoilers

Did you guys know that I like Spider-Man a lot? Did you? I bet that it wasn’t obvious that I, spiderslash, liked Spider-Man. Spider-Man is a character that I’ve loved ever since I was a wee little boy. I always ate up whatever toy, game, tv show, and movie that had his face on it. I’m what we in the business call a “fanboy”. Now speaking of movies good ol’ webhead has had an interesting history with them by having…3 pretty good ones and a bunch of lame ones and to be honest when I saw the trailer for Far From Home I thought it was going to fall into the “lame” category and. Yeah.

Spider-Man: Far From Home takes place 8 months after Avengers: Endgame with society trying to recoup after losing half of sentient existence due to “The Blip”. It’s honestly a pretty cool concept that never really gets brought up again and I’m kind of bummed about that. The world shouldn’t have been able to go back to normalcy after only 8 months but it’s whatever I guess. The movie mainly focuses on Peter Parkers struggle with living up to the legacy of Tony Stark and balancing the increasing need for him to be a more important hero vs just enjoying his life. I liked this idea IN CONCEPT because it really carries the spirit of Spider-Man, a small time hero becoming more important than he anticipated, but…it never truly felt like he was his own character until the very end. I understand that’s kind of the point but…we already did this….in Spider-Man Homecoming. I don’t know how many movies we can do that just involve Spider-Man coming his own until he…finally comes into his own.

Honestly though…when the movie slows down and focuses on Peter and Mary Jane I thought it was wonderful. I’m a big fan of Tom Holland and Zendaya already and seeing them play off each other was great. I thought those two had amazing chemistry and if there’s one thing I’m hopeful for, it’s that these two characters are going to grow into something special. Really, all of the actors in Far From Home are good and they play their characters great, Jake Jyllen…Gylen….Jake was a great pick as Mysterio in my opinion. Mysterio was always a personal favorite Marvel villain of mine and seeing his character brought to life in a really interesting way was super entertaining. One thing I thought was weird though is how they included Molten Man and Hydro Man..but they never used their names they were just kind of there. Speaking of kind of there, the movie sure does try to be funny. This one I admit is more of a “me” thing but I’m really not feeling the type of humor Marvel has been associating Spider-Man with these movies. I get that he’s supposed to be awkward but there are points in this movie where I wasn’t laughing at it, I was more so cringing at it.

Now, what’s a super hero movie without good, large-scaled action? Any MArvel movie that’s not Avengers. There are points in Far From Home where Spider-Man’s suit looks so laughably fake that I was trying to see if the model was even textured. I mentioned this in my Captain Marvel review but it bears repeating, what is with the cgi in this movies as of late? Don’t get me wrong there ARE great looking effects in this movie, Molten/Hydro Man and the other creatures look unbelievable, but anytime the action zooms in it just looks so out of place compared to the setting. Although I will say…there’s an amazing psychedelic scene in the middle of the movie that just looks wonderful and I wish it did more stuff like that. It was wildly creative but I can’t really talk about it without getting into spoilers so let me just say one thing before we get into the big boy plot points because…hhhhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooo baby.

Look it sounds like I’m being really hard on this movie and I guess I am but the direction they’re taking Sp[ider-Man into isn’t one that I’m a fan of. I don’t like how he’s not his own character but more so Iron Man’s replacement, I don’t like how awkward the humor and writing can be at times, I didn’t even mention this but I don’t like how Peter Parker is just Miles Morales which is just WACKY to me. In all honesty, the movie itself is fine. If you aren’t a dinky fanboy like me or you just want to watch an action/travel movie with superheroes it’s a good time. It’s just not for me and it pains me to say that.

I’m still going to watch all the future Marvel movies though because I’m a hypocritical sheep.

ANYWAYS

MAJOR SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT

I can’t go deep into this story without going into spoilers because I’m sorry. This story blows, dude. Halfway into the movie, we learn that Mysterio, of course, is a con man that’s just after Stark tech and he gets it after Peter does the MOST IDIOTIC AND IRRESPONSIBLE THING HE COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DONE. He jsut…gives him a pair of glasses with UNLIMITED SECURITY POWER because he just didn’t want to be known as Stark’s successor. After that Jakesterio just goes mad with power and when he learns that Peter knows what he did he tricks him into telling him the identities of his friends by impersonating Fury and just hits him with a train. Peter Parker is the dumbest, most irresponsible he has ever been in any movie in this. He’s whiny, he’s constantly reluctant to do anything, he’s horrifically gullible it’s really annoying. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not the only idiot here.

Hell, Mr.Fury.

Nick Fury is shockingly mean spirited to Peter throughout the entire movie, essentially kidnapping and forcing him into the entire adventure and even calling out his mistakes with an extreme amount of vice and anger. It seemed strangely out of character for him….and it turns out it was because that wasn’t Nick Fury. The after credits scene reveals that Nick Fury and Maria Hill were Skrulls! …Which explains why they were total jackasses in this movie. See during Mysterio’s reveal he was essentially plot dumping everything that got him to this point in the story in a weirdly Edgar Wright-ish way and he pointed out the absurdity of his origin how he was a stranded hero from an alternate universe ravaged by cataclysmic threat. He essentially said, “That was super stupid but it was believable enough at this point in time!” So, essentially the ENTIRE plot of this movie happened…because the male Skrull from Captain Marvel believed Nightcrawlers story no questions asked.

That’s stupid.

But all of that kind of pales in comparison to what the mid-credits scene did. Let me preface this by saying that out of EVERY. SINGLE. COMPLAINT that I have had in this review isn’t NEARLY as opinionated as this one. After the adventure ends Spider-Man takes Mary Jane for a swing around New York and THE LITERAL MOMENT he’s about to leave after he drops her off a newscast starts to play. The anchorman then shows a doctored video and Mysterio framing Spider-Man for his death (Oh yeah he dies. It’s a superhero movie that happens) and..okay it then does an admittedly cool thing by introducing the Bugel and J. Jonah Jameson (Played by J.K Simmons!) and bringing back the “Hero or Menace?” thing from Spider-Man’s history, and I was going to be cool with that. And then he revealed his name. The movie literally ends with Mysterio revealing that Spider-Man. Is Peter Parker. This fucking stinks. Not only is this a lame note to end the movie on, but it needlessly increases the stakes for the character in ways that..I’m nervous about. The idea of Spider-Man having to deal with his identity being revealed AND framed for murder just doesn’t sit well with me…especially because of how easily it could be disproven and swept under the rug since guess what? He’s an Avenger. He knows (Or kind of knew) Nick Fury. Not to mention Those Stark glasses that Mysterio stole has voice recognition which means it probably has records on what it heard or what was said into it. It just feels lazy and somewhat ridiculous. I just…I don’t know, man. That left a real bad taste in my mouth.

Again, sorry for letting the fanboy run free in this review but this movie just does so many dumb and annoying things that just irks me so much. Like I said earlier the movie, personal opinions aside, is fine. It’s a serviceable action movie with awkward humor but it just did not resonate with me at all. It’s not the worst MCU….but for me? It’s easily the most disappointing and disheartening.

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